Partnering Together with Parents to Raise Godly Children

By Valerie Padgett and Scott Moore

Start children off on the way they should go, and even when they are old they will not turn from it. Proverbs 22:6

There are lots of different opinions on the best ways to parent, but one thing I believe we can all agree on is that parenting is hard! Each child is different, each stage is different, and each situation is different, but the one thing that remains the same is that God tells us that children are a blessing, and it is our duty to train them and teach them about Him. In children’s ministry, this is our whole mission and calling. We believe it is important to partner together with parents to raise Godly children.

Our church believes that it is ultimately the parents’ responsibility to train their children as described in Deuteronomy 6:6-7,

“And you must commit yourselves wholeheartedly to these commands that I am giving you today.7 Repeat them again and again to your children. Talk about them when you are at home and when you are on the road, when you are going to bed and when you are getting up.”

But we, as the church, should be right there cheering them on and supporting them through all the years and stages of parenting. As partners in raising Godly children, the aligned message being taught at home and at church is more powerful and impactful.

When we opened our church in 2001, one of the first things we did was to take several volunteers to a children’s conference to learn and be trained. Our first conference was “Grow” at North Point Church in the Atlanta area. It was there that we met and were inspired by Reggie Joyner and his team in this “partnering with parents” concept. We learned that the church must never become a substitute for the family. It can’t. If a church believes that they have a bigger influence on children than their parents, the church tends to establish a ministry model where programming competes with the family. They believe that what happens at church is more important than what happens at home. Rather than compete with the families of our church, we learned that the church should synchronize with the family! We were taught that parents have more potential to impact the faith of their children than anyone. Therefore, what happens at home, in some ways, is more important than what happens at church. Let me share with you three important truths that we embraced and implemented in our church.

• The relationship with parents will happen more often.

The average family will spend more time together in a car during one month than they will spend attending programs in the church for an entire year. A lot of families drive into our parking lot every Sunday. But the most important drive just might be the one that happens each Sunday when they drive away. I will never forget the illustrative ways the Grow Conference demonstrated this for us.

On the stage they had a jar with three thousand marbles, which symbolized the three thousand teachable hours per year that parents have at home with their children.

Beside that jar was a sad looking jar with about forty-two marbles in it representing the teachable hours an average church has with children each year. We at Believers increased that average and were offering one-hundred teachable hours per year and realized it still wasn’t enough! Our jar with one hundred marbles also looked sad next to the parent jar of three thousand hours per year.

Another visual that really hit home was a large Harley on the stage and a small scooter. Guess which one represented the parents, and which one represented the church? You get the point.

• The relationship with parents will last longer.

Not only during childhood and adolescents, but these relations go through High School, college, wedding days, and the birth of children! It’s the parents who will be with the child for the long haul.

• The relationship with their parents will go deeper.

A child’s view of God will come from his/her relationship with their parents. How a child practices their faith will probably be the same way their parents practice their faith. I’m so glad God led us to that conference. We were taught and inspired that year to establish a ministry model that partners with parents through programming that involves and enlists the family. When we returned, a partnership was formed. The church and parents now work together as partners for the sake of our children.

How We Partner Together with Parents to Raise Godly Children

Not saying our way is the best, but it has worked well for us. The way we do this at Believers church is by providing multiple opportunities for families to learn about Jesus and worship together. So, allow us to share some ideas with you.

One opportunity we have is our Family Worship Sunday. Every fifth Sunday, our children join the adults for our church service in the Sanctuary. This is a time for families to experience worshiping together as a family unit. Parents are able to model for their children how to sit and listen to a sermon, take communion, and worship through prayer and singing. Sometimes parents get nervous about their children misbehaving during the service, but it is important to understand what an impact it makes on their child to be exposed to “big church” and seeing the people they look up to the most loving and learning more about Jesus!

Not only do kids learn to worship with their parents in the adult service environment, but we also provide opportunities for the parents to enter the kid’s world and worship their way too. We are always looking for new ways and opportunities to do this. There is nothing like parents loosening up a bit, singing, dancing, doing hand motions, and learning a lot about Jesus. We have a family worship experience at Christmas, billing it as a church wide Christmas party. We aim for family worship experiences in the children’s classroom in early spring and we have a really big family worship experience in the summer… Family Vacation Bible School.

An important way we partner with families during the summer is our Family Vacation Bible School. We have taken the traditional Vacation Bible School model and redefined it to include the entire church family- young, old, married, and singles are all invited! This four-day event is held nightly to allow working parents to attend. We provide a free dinner, a large group lesson for families, and then an age-appropriate small group lesson. We also have games and worship. Everyone enjoys this week, and the parents and kids get to experience church in a fun and engaging way.

We also offer various family serving opportunities throughout the year. There’s nothing like a family following the example of Jesus as they serve others together. At a yearly event each spring called “Serve the Boro”, families can participate in a free car wash, handing out free bread, water, and soda, and even paying for someone’s laundry. The kids love these events, and their participation brings a lot of joy to the ones they are serving. We also allow the kids to help in a huge “Free Market” at the church. Not only can they serve by setting up and cleaning up, but many children have learned to see this Free Market as an opportunity to share their clothes that don’t fit anymore and their toys they have outgrown with other children that need them.

Social media is an easy way to encourage and partner with parents. Most people are on Facebook anyway, so it’s a simple way to meet people right where they are. Utilizing Facebook groups allows the church to create a virtual community with the parents and families. Our church is able to schedule daily posts with information on what the kids are learning, share pictures of the fun, and give talking points for families to discuss about the things the kids are studying in the children’s church.

Even during our Baby Dedications, as parents dedicate their children to the Lord, we commit to partner together with these parents. At the dedication, the parents make a commitment to raise their children in the Lord and their extended family also commits to support them in that role. Then, we as a church commit to these parents that we will love, support, and help them in any way that we can. We charge the church by saying, “Church, do you commit to partner with these parents and to provide a church where (insert child’s name) can be trained up in the ways of God- a place of love, acceptance, and forgiveness?” The church will then respond with “We do.”

Partnering together with parents to raise Godly children is an important concept that I hope will spread to more church organizations. When we remember our purpose as a church is to create a community of believers, it is easy to see that families are a big part of that community. Shouldn’t we be doing our part to keep nothing from hindering them from experiencing Jesus?

“But Jesus called them to him, saying, “Let the children come to me, and do not hinder them, for to such belongs the kingdom of God” Luke 18:16